what would happen if i actually shared porn on facebook
IM LAUGHING SO HARD PLEASE HELP ME
I always wanted these to happen in real life
Where is “Several bad puns later”?
we need more!
Spongebob time cards are solid gold.
A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
you’ve got to be kidding me
I am in physical pain
if you kill a guy who has a boner does his penis continue to be erect or what
Yes. It does actually. And when they go to the morgue to be prepared for burial, the person cleaning them up and such breaks it so it lays flat.
“So what do you do for a living?
“I put makeup on dead people and snap boners.”
How I feel about religion. God should be presented as what he is, love and kindness. Stop using his name to justify your racism, homo phobia and sexesim
Not gonna lie, this is pretty cute.
"Everybody" coming over for dinner? Is he planning to like wipe out the fucking entire human race?
Maybe it’s like the apocalypse?
who the heck is running Denny’s tumblr
DO YOU EVER JUST START AN EPISODE AND YOU’RE LIKE
I KNOW THIS EPISODE TUMBLR TALKS ABOUT THIS EPISODE
eating clocks is really time consuming
especially when you go back for seconds
The gif is perfect because it represents the only two possible reactions to this joke
This is what happens when you synchronize camera’s shutter speed with a helicopter’s blade frequency
that’s not okay
"LOOK DIMITRI! WE ARE PLANE NOW!"
You see, Dimitri; when have lost power like we do, helicopter not crash because fly like jetplane!
in english class today my teacher asked “what is the definition of poetry” and he called on me and i said “any type of writing that is not prose” and he got very angry because his lesson plan was to have a twenty minute discussion about the definition of poetry and then tell the class the definition was any writing that wasnt prose and apparently i ruined his lesson so he took my talking privileges away
that was so much better than i expected
When a writer kills off a character
When you kill off your own character
what happens if an undercover cop posing as a drug dealer deals to an undercover cop posing as a drug buyer
I read about where something similar to this happened except they were investigating prostitution and they arrested each other and like a year later ended up getting married.
I need for there to be a sterek fic of this. It would be beautiful.
you two are lovely!
This is the most adorable thing ever I think I might die from the cute.